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10 ways to build self confidence (that actually work)

by Amanda Collins

Being confident means you have a strong sense of your own worth and abilities. Being able to build self confidence can make a huge difference to your life, helping to open the doors of opportunity.

Just imagine what you could do if you had a bit more confidence! That’s where we come in. Below we have provided you with 10 tried and tested ways to boost your confidence.

time to build your self confidence

Where’s your self-worth gone?

Nobody is born with self-confidence issues. Low self-esteem is something that we learn by measuring our value through external factors like the jobs we have, they grades we get, how we look and the opinions of others.

Real confidence comes from really, truly believing you are worthy, just for being your wonderful self. When we are confident within ourselves, none of these external factors matter.

As Dr Seuss so aptly put “Today you are You. That is truer than true. There is no one alive who is You-er than You. Shout loud, ‘I am lucky to be what I am!’”

So, the key to rock-solid confidence is to stop attaching your value to things like your job, bank account, looks and what other people think about you. Instead, base it in who you are as an individual. Focus on your special traits, on what makes you who you are.

tips to build self confidence

It’s time to just throw the keys

When you trust yourself and your abilities, confidence is the result.

Consider this:

You are asked to throw a set of keys to your friend from a metre away. The chances are pretty likely that you will throw them without thinking, and that the throw will be good enough that your friend is able to catch the keys.

Now, imagine that same scenario but that you are in the middle of a large football field, stands packed with people, and you have to throw the keys from a metre away so your friend catches them. Also, there’s $2 million on the line.

You have exactly the same skill set in both scenarios, the difference is in the second one, you are likely to stop trusting yourself and to start second guessing, whereas if you just trusted yourself and threw the keys, you would find that $2 million in your pocket pretty quickly.

So, from today, make a list of your skills and start trusting in your abilities, regardless of the circumstances.

In the immortal words of Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Dress the part

Dressing the part goes a long way to making you feel confident. When you look good, you feel good!

So, for an instant confidence boost: shower, choose something great to wear, put on some perfume and do your hair. It is amazing at the difference that doing these very simple things will make to your day.

Fake it till you make it

Studies have found that certain postures and facial expressions actually make us feel certain ways.

Power poses can actually release certain chemicals in our body that make us feel more confident and happy.

Power pose: Stand up tall with your legs hip width apart, reach your arms in a wide V above your head and stretch as wide and far as you can. The aim here is to take up as much space as you can.

In general, standing and sitting tall with good posture will also help you to feel confident, so for an instant boost, just straighten up!

Take a stand to build self confidence

Put it in perspective

Make an “I’m awesome” list of all the things that you are good at and all of your accomplishments. Use this list to shut off your negative self-talk.

Keep your negativity in proportion, and always remember that the negative thoughts you have don’t necessarily represent the truth of a thing or situation.

Take risks

“Confidence is a funny thing. You go out and do the thing you’re most terrified of, and the confidence comes afterwards.” – Christopher Kaminski

If you want to be confident you need to take risks and step out of your comfort zone. Once you take the step and realise that you are capable, you grow more confident.

So take a risk: ask for a challenging job at work, make a new friend, learn something new, you’ll be surprised at the difference it will make to your confidence levels.

take a risk and build your self confidence

Use words with intention

Use your language carefully, phrase things positively and actively.

An example of this would be a saying:

“With some clarification and research I will understand this topic.”


“I am so confused, I’ll never get this.”

Go for a run

Exercise releases endorphins and a bunch of other feelgood chemicals. So if you are in need of a confidence boost, or are after long-lasting confidence, put on your sneakers and go for a walk or a run, or you could just have a good dance in your lounge room.

exercise to build self confidence

Be prepared

Nothing saps confidence more than being underprepared. So if you want to have confidence, make sure you are prepared for the tasks which you have to undertake, whether that is an upcoming presentation, a test, or a new job.

Once you are prepared, ditch the worry and just “throw the keys”.

Act as if

Act with the confidence that you wish you had, even if you don’t feel it. The amazing thing about this little bit of fakery is that the longer you do it, the more you actually become confident. So speak up, stand up and take a leap!

build confidence

In life it is easy to lose confidence and to give your power away. Using the above pointers should take you a long way to living a confident life. When you do feel the pull of self-doubt drifting in, remind yourself of just how short and precious our life is. There is simply no time for self-doubt. So step out and savour every moment!

Is today the day you change your life?

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